“I’m
in love with my best friend”. That’s the only word I can utter
right at this very moment. Yes. I risk our friendship over love. But
is it really risking? Or it was really meant to be that way even from
the beginning? Friendship doesn’t have to end when you realized
that you love each other more than friends. I don’t know what God’s
plan really is. All I know is that it brought me overflowing
happiness and contentment. Euphoria, as you would call it. It was
unexpected. Something that wasn’t planned but something that I did
think “might” happen. Yes. Ever since, I did have that “what
if?” inside my head. I was just too scared to admit it.
He
has his own life and I have mine. He has grown his friends list over
the years and so did I. He met love couple of times and got
heartbroken. I too met love and ended up heartbroken as well. I was
taken, he was single; He was taken; I just broke up with someone; we
were both taken; and finally, we were both single. These were the
scenarios over the years. There were a lot of instances that I have
felt weird towards him. If you would ask me to define that
‘weirdness’, I am not really sure. When I would think things
through, I can conclude that there were ample of times that he
exerted a lot of efforts for me and I took it for granted. I don’t
know if he was doing all of it because I am his best friend or
because he felt more than that. If you would ask me, I again don’t
know. All I know is I am always taking him for granted and I always
push him away. What I did was totally not a very good thing.
I
wanted to review things and remind myself how stupid and insensitive
I am towards him. He has made a lot of little sacrifices and a lot of
simple efforts that should have been appreciated. But what I did
despite all of this? I didn’t give a damn. I was too complacent and
confident that he will be there for me no matter what and that he
will not going to change. Until this one day, he kept on telling me
this: “Ayaw pagsalig. Tao ra baya ko. Be careful what you wish
for.” It strikes me. It suddenly gives me this chills and fear
of losing him. But instead of saying sorry and convincing him that
I’ll be good this time, I kept on telling him this : “Dili
lage gihapon ko nimu matiis!“. This was just my way of
convincing myself that he will never going to leave me. And besides,
I don’t want to show him even a slightest detail of how I feel
about it (lame!). As I think of the past years, here are the things
he has done for me (without any complaints!!!! ^_^ awesome!):
“A shoulder to
cry on”
Ever
since we became best friend in high school, I started pouring out my
problems and cry it out to him. A lot of people actually approach him
and do the same. Maybe he is just a kind of person who is easy to
talk with and a kind of person who is good in comforting people. I am
his best friend but he is a best friend to everybody. He entertains
everybody. He helps everybody. He hangs out with everybody. And he
gives importance to everybody. (I am kind’s jealous most of the
time but I know I don’t have the right to be anyway.)
Well,
I remember crying over him during our pajama party at Marie France’s
house. I remembered sharing him about our family problem. I was not
able to control my emotions and break down in front of him. We were
in a quite dark room (it kind’a set a good mood to let my problems
out). And as expected, he gives me advices and comforts me (Char!).
What I won’t forget during that moment is when I hugged him and
kissed him on his left check when we were about to head home (gives
me this feeling of nostalgia when I think about it.). That was
definitely unforgettable! That was the first kiss that I planted on
his check without any malice or impure thoughts. That was all pure
and innocent. ^_^
I
am a taekwondo player when I reached 4th year High School.
I joined tournaments. During my last taekwondo tournament, I cried
over him since I lost. He was my coach that time (On a second
thought, maybe that’s why I lost!.. hmmmmm! Hahaha!). It was very
vague in my memory why the hell he was on the venue. It was in City
Central School grounds and baseball games are at Sport Center. I
don’t know what’s he’s doing there. Is it maybe he really went
there to see me play? Well, I’m sort of flattered if it is! Or
maybe he just passes by around and saw that there was a game going
on. What’s the bad thing about it is, it was his first time to see
me play but I lost and I was not able to give him a good game to
watch.
There
was this other instance when I got really heartbroken with my long
time boyfriend and cannot anymore hide my emotions, I texted him to
fetch me at my house and I cried over his back while on the road. I
remembered my mom asking him where we are heading and he answered:
“Ambot te, nag text raman Dory, maglaag siguro mi.”. Without any
hesitations, he came in to fetch me. Amazing!
What’s
the best thing that I can remember is when he himself cried in front
of me. And can you guess the place where we were at? At our school
Chapel! What a solemn place to cry into. It’s like saying he cried
in front of me and GOD. That was an amazing moment indeed. Do you
know the reason why he cried? He was caught cheating and was
threatened by our teacher to have his parents come over our school. I
also remember him worrying about suspension – for both classes and
sports. Haha! That was really a moment worth remembering. ^_^ He’s
face is epic!
“One Text/Call
Away”
What I really
like about him is that he is ALWAYS making himself available for me.
I never remembered any instance that he refuses to fetch me or to
meet me when I ask him to. (As I was thinking, I was the one who
always do that! @#$$%^!!!)
The most
unforgettable instance was during our 2013 Christmas party (it was
December 21, 2013). I was kind’a tipsy (well, my alcohol tolerance
is very very very low. Sorry about that!) during the party since I
was offered to drink a glass of Margaritas and a glass of Scotch.
After the party, at around 11PM, I and some of my officemates decided
to go on a KTV bar. I was contacting my best friend since the party
started but he was out of coverage. I would like to ask him to fetch
me and thought of going on a road trip (like what we always do during
previous nights) or go for chit chats somewhere. And since I cannot
contact him, I decided to go with my officemates for KTV. We got
settled on a place at around 11:30PM after searching for place to
settle in. We went to several KTV bars and all were full. It was a
Saturday night so it is expected. Every time we go to a bar, I was
hoping that I could see my best friend. But he was nowhere to be
found (I felt kind’a disappointed with myself that time and even
murmured to myself, “Asa naman ka karon na kailangan taka ”.)
Finally, we found a place to settle in. We sing our hearts out. I was
kind’a feeling drowsy and nauseous. My officemates has been
extending the KTV hours a couple of times already until it reached
1AM. My mom texted me to take a cab home to be safe since it would be
very difficult to ride a public vehicle that time. I’m afraid to
take a cab since I will be alone inside. And so I tried calling my
best friend one more time. And the phone rings! Finally! I asked him
to fetch me. He asked me if I was drunk and I told him that I had
taken a little alcohol. He asked me where I was and told me to stay
put because he will be heading over. I could still remember the sound
of his voice. It’s as if he just got up in bed from a sleep. I woke
him up. I felt sorry but wasn’t conscientious (haha! So harsh!).
After a couple of minutes, there he is, my best friend’s fetching
me and sending me home. I bid good bye to my officemates. While
on the road going home, I can’t help but hug him from behind. Aside
from the fact that I felt really sleepy and needed to lean over, I
did that because I really appreciate the effort he showed me. My best
friend is really concerned about me. I felt really lucky. And there I
felt conscientious. He’s been there for me always but I was never
there for him every time he would invite me for something. I always
reject his invites and give him lots of reasons. He brought me home,
right in front of our house. He seldom does this because I would ask
him not to, but that time he insisted. My best friend is indeed one
text or call away. He’s simply amazing! ^_^ I sleep soundly that
night and woke up happy!
Another instance was
when I and my mom are scheduled for jogging exercise. I brought my
jogging stuffs at the office and plan to go jogging afterwards. But 1
hour before I am off from work, she texted me that she will not be
available since she was tired from going somewhere. I wanted to go
jogging that time and I can’t think of anyone else who would
accompany me except for one. I called my best friend up; ask him if
where he is and if he’s available. He was shaving right at that
moment. It gives me the hint that he is going somewhere. But still, I
explained what happened and ask him if he can go with me. Instead of
refusing me because he is heading somewhere (it’s their Christmas
Party that time), he still offer his company. He fetches me at the
office and went jogging with me. As in literally, he’s with me in
the oval even though he was not on jogging attire! We talk while
finishing a couple of rounds in the oval. We talk about anything
under the sun. We also talk about how unlucky I am with my boyfriend
(I was on a complicated relationship that time. I was single but was
stupidly waiting for my ex!) because he cannot even offer me his
company for this kind of thing. Once again, I felt so lucky. I have
my best friend who is always there for me! I was so happy. I felt
really comfortable with him and I was melting every time we have
moments like this. It was almost 9PM (we were the only one left in
the oval) when we decided to head home. Once again, he sees to it
that he sends me home safely and he left for their Party afterwards.
My day ended up happy. I again sleep soundly that night. ^_^
There was this once
as well when I was so down because I got heartbroken. I cannot
anymore handle my emotions. I just wanted to cry myself out and I
cannot do it at home since my parents are around. I don’t usually
share problem related to my ex boyfriend but that time, I cannot
handle it anymore. I want to pour it out so to lessen the burden. So,
I texted my best friend right there and then. Just a simple “Aha
ka?” text and the next thing you know, he’ll come running to
fetch me. I cried over his back while we were on the road. He even
keeps on telling me to stop crying because people might misunderstand
it as a couple-fight. But I cannot handle it anymore. So to cheer
me up, he asks me if I could accompany him in their Hotbikes
meeting just to kill the time. Afterwards, I asked him to eat ice
cream with me so we went to Starmart Velez to take some. We
ate Corneto and Piatos. He even got himself a chocolate
bar (Cloud 9) so to take advantage of me treating him food (because
it would seldom happen! Hahahaha!). And so there, we talked. We share
experiences and things that had happen when we were both away with
each other. He shared about his deepest secrets and I shared about
what had happened to me. We were not afraid of being judged. We just
talk, talk and talk. We started laughing again. We laugh at our
mistakes and stupidity. I just then realized that he indeed cheer me
up. I feel warm and light. I feel blessed once again. I never
regretted that I decided to share my problems to him. I felt happy
knowing that he’s always around for me. We decided to go home and
call it a night when my mom keeps on texting me about going home (she
doesn’t want me to hang out with him because of the fact that I
have a boy friend and it’s not good to look at but she doesn’t
know what’s up with me and my ex.). Though I feel bad about going
home so early, I still feel happy that I and my best friend share a
simple but unforgettable moment. He sends me home, as what he usually
does. I again sleep soundly that night with fewer burdens to think
about. He’s simply amazing. I am blessed to have him. ^_^
I know there are lots
of other instances that he makes himself available for me but all the
others are kind’a vague in my memory (sorry about that! My memory’s
space is limited. :P). I might not remember a lot but those mentioned
are the ones which really struck me the most and had remained in my
heart and mind. I am indeed blessed with having a best friend like
him. I regret not appreciating his efforts before. Instead of giving
him value, I would always end up pushing him away. I am so
stupid. This makes me drowned thinking about how stupid and
insensitive I am. The more I am pouring my emotions in writing, the
more I realize what I have done before. I was just so lucky that he
never gives me up and decided to continue being there for me. I’m
afraid of losing him. I’m afraid that he might realize one day that
he had enough of me. I’m afraid that he might get the comfort that
he want from others and leave me behind. That’s why it is my
constant challenge to work things out and give him more reasons to
stay. Now that I have him, I will never let him go. All of his
efforts, down to the last bit, will be appreciated and recognized. I
am forever grateful having him around. I love my best friend so much!
“Mr.
Little-Sacrifices and Little-efforts”
Without my
knowing (because I was insensitive enough to take it for granted), he
has been making little sacrifices for me ever since. I haven’t had
the chance to give him appreciation for those sacrifices that’s why
I am taking the time now to write about it hoping that it’s not too
late to show how thankful I am of him ^_^.
When I was in Manila,
I and my best friend always communicate through texts and calls. We
just got back communicating together after a long time. I would most
of the time ask him to call me even on midnights. I missed him. Maybe
because we haven’t spend time together for so long or maybe because
of the series and movies that I’ve watched about boy and girl who
are best friends or maybe because I was so hurt that time and so I
need comfort. Whatever it is, I know I missed him. Since I always ask
him to call me up, he bought another sim card exclusively for me!
Every time I would ask him to call me, he is always available. We
talk whenever I am free (and whenever my ex’s brother and his
fiancée’s aren’t at our apartment. I even wish that they’ll go
somewhere! Haha!). I remember talking to him from midnight until dawn
when my housemates are already asleep and whenever I am on my way to
the office (since I walked from my apartment to my workplace). We
even reached to the point of asking each other about the possibility
of falling for each other. He always tells me that if that will
happen, he will definitely catch me and won’t let me fall (I don’t
exactly get what he’s telling me. Does this mean that he is open
with the idea of falling in love with me? Well, whatever.) . As for
me, I always assure him that we will not reach that state. But at the
back of my mind, I am always imagining how things could be if that
happens. It’s weird. Why? It is because I am also starting to count
and noticed his good side. I even ask myself if he is good enough for
me. And on the second thought, I know he is! Especially that he loves
his mom so much! It’s a great deal for me. But, why am I thinking
about these things? Could it be possible that I am falling for him? I
don’t know. But it feels weird. During our long talks, we’ve
talked about travelling together (just the two of us!), cooking
together (him cooking me something most of the time! :p), shopping
together and lots of stuffs. I even promised to buy him Sperry
Topsider shoes as a birthday-christmas-new year’s gift! But I
wasn’t able to bought it for him as promised because I bought my ex
a pair of shoes instead. I even ask him to come over to Manila to
work. But he was still waiting for his application in a company and
still thinking twice if he’ll go to Cebu instead. There was this
time as well that he mentioned that he’ll go to Korea instead. He
has lots of plan and I cannot do something about it. All I know is I
enjoyed talking to him and I feel weird about it. When I finally come
into my senses and acknowledge that I might really be falling in love
with my best friend, I, once again, decided to keep my distance!
(This is what I always do! After everything that he has done for me!
Damn!).
My best friend
is a born athlete. I remember when we were in High School; he is so
popular because he does play good. This makes him very cool with
girls too! Aside from being so friendly and charming, his being an
athlete adds up to his confidence and fame. Every summer, he will
always going to be part of the athletes who would represent our
school for a game outside the City. He plays baseball and is very
good at it. I regret not watching any of his games (and I hate the
fact that I cannot do something about it now. I cannot anymore go
back to those moments. ) even any of his practices . Anyway, so
that’s how it is. He had been to Lanao and Cotabato for games. And
since we became best friends, every time he would go home, he brings
me souvenir shirts! I know that he also brought shirts to other
friends as well but for me it really means a lot. I even joke around
him that I will not going to wear it anyway and that he should not
brought me something the next time but deep inside, I was blushing. I
know he bought that because I always joke around him about buying me
something from the game venue but it was just a joke and I am not
really expecting that he would brought me something. But he would
always bring me something! It felt weird! I have assumed things at
the back of my mind! I even imagine things at the back of my mind!
But it cannot be. I know it wasn’t something. He was just being a
friend. Indeed… He was just being a friend… It doesn’t mean
anything… Now that I think about it, I really appreciate the little
effort that he showed me that even though I was not that important
for him at that time, he still shows me these little efforts. It
might be that I wasn’t able to appreciate it before, I am thankful
now that he was that kind of friend to me. It’s really amazing
having him around. Ever since then, he is an important part of my day
to day life. He has been there for me even though I was insensitive
enough to appreciate him. ^_^
During college, my
best friend met love through his ever dearest admirer. To tell you
honestly, she was the last girl I can think of that he will end up
with (haha! Was it a bad thing or a good thing?). It is maybe because
my best friend really doesn’t notice the girl when we were in high
school! He always neglects the girl when she flirts and doesn’t
appreciate the girl’s little efforts. Well, as time would have it,
they end up together (I cannot do something about it. Tsk3!). At
first I was very happy about them being together. I give them my full
support! The girl finally has her dream! And I can see that my best
friend is very happy and very in love with her. Until such time that
I was able to know her character. She is overly jealous! I cannot
blame her for that because my best friend is very friendly and has
tons of friends. But, it blew my mind when I found out that she was
even super duper overly jealous with me!!! I don’t know what’s
got into her, really (seriously? Me? Why me?). I even found out that
even when we were still in High School, she was already jealous with
me because I am always around my best friend (well that’s creepy
you know?). Even though she’s like that, I have nothing against
her. I like her because she’s making my best friend happy.
That’s what matters the most. But it came to a point that she has
been constantly making my best friend choose between her and me (can
you believe that? If you love a person, you’ll not make him choose
in anything. That’s pretty unfair!). I know my best friend is
struggling about this. She loves the girl so much. But despite all of
this, he still makes an effort to see me and spend time with me. That
was awesome! But kind’a conscientious in my part since I don’t
want to create any misunderstanding that can lead to their break up
or something. At first, I felt like ruining their relationship by
constantly seeing my best friend. But as time goes by, I have
realized that the girl’s character and reaction are not good and
appropriate anymore. It’s like she is isolating my best friend. I
was just so thankful that somehow, my best friend fought for me and
never gave me up just like that (and as for me, I always do the other
way around I’m a stupid bitch, I know. ). That’s my best
friend. You have no idea how much I am so thankful to have him ^_^.
I took up BS
Information Management and graduated with, somehow, good grades. My
course is in line with the Information Technology industry. And
believe it or not, I graduated using my Pensium 2 (was it pensium 2
or lower? Don’t exactly know.) Personal Computer! Haha! I think the
only thing that I can do with it was to do my paper works and nothing
else. It can’t take Java or Visual basic or even HTML in! It was
very slow! It would mostly crash and turns off in the middle of my
work and will not going to start up afterwards. But I was very
thankful to have that computer though! Because of it, I can see my
Best friend most of the time. I would frequently ask him to reformat
it for me for free! :p I don’t know why he doesn’t charge me
anything and I don’t know why he is always available for me every
time I would ask him to fix it. He would come over our house and fix
it without any complaints! And while he does the fixing, we talk
about anything under the sun. I think that was the best part and not
the part where he fixes my computer. Haha! I don’t care about that
computer anyway! Haha! I can always borrow laptops from my classmates
in exchange of making them assignments and projects for free. But
anyway, that little effort that he showed was a great thing for me. I
might have not shown him how I really appreciate it before, deep in
my heart, it struck me the most. It was engraved in my memory. I was
once again thankful to have him. I am hoping that it’s still not
too late to show my gratitude and appreciation ^_^! The more I write
about things that have happened in the past, the more I realized how
thankful I am to be given a best friend like him! Can’t thank God
enough for me to deserve him. ^_^
God is really amazing
right? HE exactly knows what’s best for you. There might be times
that HE would let you experience the worst and might mistook things
as the best ones but at the end, HE would give you the best HE can
ever give. You’ll know it. You’ll going to feel it when you are
there at that momentum. He will tell you Himself. HE’s amazing.
HE’s awesome. HE knows your heart and all your desires and in HIS
time HE will definitely grant this to you. Am I that good enough to
deserve something like this? I’m so blessed… Just so blessed..
^_^.
“Foodie-Buddy”
I am definitely a
foodie. No question about it. Haha! I love food and I love to be
adventurous when it comes to tasting different types of cuisines. Bad
thing was that my exes don’t share this passion with mine. I
remembered having dates on fast foods and nothing else. Though I like
it, it sucks sometimes thinking that I am stuck with it. The good
thing is my best friend’s a foodie too! What’s even better is we
both share the same passion of being adventurous with food! Up
until now, we see to it that we try restaurants and eateries that
interest us. We don’t care how much it cost. We don’t care if
it’s somewhat high-end or not. What matters is we love to try it
out. Maybe that’s one of the things that sticks us together even
before.
I remembered this one
time when we bumped into each other in Divisoria while walking. We
check on each other since he just got back from Manila that time. I
checked how he was doing in his studies since he decided to stay in
XU for good and ask him about some other things. And then, I ask him
to treat me dinner! Haha! And without further ado, he said yes!
Hahaha! ^_^ He was always like that :p. He withdraws some cash from
his ATM card. While walking towards somewhere and arguing where to
eat, we bumped into Sir Ceryll, our High School teacher, and another
friend of ours (can’t remember exactly who!hahaha!). And so I
invited them over to eat (hehehe! So I had the guts to invite them
over because it wasn’t my treat anyway. Haha!). We decided to
settle in Sr. San Pedro across St. Augustine Cathedral. We eat and
talk about how things are going in each of us. I remembered Sir
Ceryll telling us in the middle of the conversation that eating
together is what grows the friendship and what makes people stick
together over time. And I really believe it to be true. Look at
us now. … Isn’t it amazing? Eating together sticks people
forever. ^_^
There was this one
time that he just came up in front of me outside school. He then asks
me if I can make his class report presentation for him. It was for
his Math subject. To take advantage of this, I ask him to treat me
pizza! Hahaha! He has no choice but to agree! And so, he treats me
pizza before even doing the assignment: p. And believe it or not, it
was just a simple algebraic expression about how to find X and Y. I
gave him the most basic equation that can easily be explained. And I
bet his report presentation went really well. ^_^
It was his OJT in
CISSO office that time when we got back communicating. The first
thing that I ask him is to treat me for dinner! And as expected, he
did! We didn’t set the date and time since we both know that if
we did it will not going to push through. So one day I texted him
that I’m claiming my free treat. Right there and then he texted me
back that he’ll go dinner with me! We met at Divisoria and ask him
to take me home first so that I can change. After that, we decided to
settle in one of the restaurants in Jr. Borja extension – My
Kerelly’s Grill. We ordered baby back ribs as our main course.
While eating, we talk and catch up. We talk about a lot of things, as
usual (we kind’a like talking, you know. Hahah! We enjoyed doing
it.). He finished his dinner first. As for me, I’m having
difficulty finishing up since I cannot slice my meat (there was no
knife!). And so I ask help from him to slowly rip it into pieces and
he did! Haha! (I like this part because I felt like I was treated
like a princess. Ask me why? I don’t exactly know :P). So that’s
what happens. I remembered as well that it was the first time that I
find my best friend cute. He wears violet polo shirt and shorts. I
like his get-up. He’s cute. After eating, he brought me home,
as what he usually does. It’s like we just had a date. But the
thing is it was just a friendly date. (tsk3! Haha!). I had a great
time though! ^_^
When my best friend
lands his first job, I was in Manila. I was not able to congratulate
him. I didn’t even send him a text message or wrote a post on his
FB wall. Did you know what I told him when we talked about it? I told
him this : “Asia Brewery? Wala kay life diha! 7-7 imu work,
Mondays to Saturdays pagyud. WALA KAY LIFE!. Maygani wala kay uyab.”.
hahaha! I was too harsh around him. Anyways, so that’s it, he was
employed in the company where I also first worked. When I go back to
CDO, I ask him to treat me dinner. He agreed but once again we didn’t
set the date if when would the dinner be. I was so disappointed when
I saw in his facebook wall that he treated a girl to dinner before we
even have our dinner! What’s worst is the girl’s his Ex. This
somehow broke my heart. I don’t know why. But I think I got jealous
or something. Am I really jealous? No, definitely not. But it did
make me really sad! I confronted him and he told me that he
didn’t have the choice because the girl asks him to treat her
dinner. (No choice? Seriously? You have all the choices in the
world!!! You can choose to treat ME first!!!!!! !@#$%!!!!). Anyway,
the damage has been done. I cannot do something about it anymore. And
besides, I don’t have the right to argue with him about this and I
know that my reaction was inappropriate. I was just his best friend
anyway. If he’s dating that girl then she’s more special than me.
And so our dinner date finally came. We eat at Roadhouse Centrio.
It was definitely a good and memorable dinner night. We talk and we
laugh a lot. I even told him that it is only with him that I enjoyed
dinner that much. I haven’t experienced that in my exes. I love it
when we talk and laugh over dinner dates. We talk about anything
under the sun. We talk about our weird experiences and we listen to
each other. I love it! I can always be my real self when I am with
him. I just hope that all of our next dinner dates are like that even
though things are so different now. ^_^ He paid the bill and sends me
home as what he usually does. I slept happy and woke up in the
morning smiling. ^_^
The more I wrote
about these things, the more I realized that dinner dates are very
significant in one’s relationship; may it be pure friendship or
romantic relationship. It uplifts you both and it creates a strong
bond in between. I was blessed that even before, we already do that.
I never expected that over the years, it did create a big effect. ^_^
We have been best
friends for years now. Up to this day, the bond is getting stronger
and stronger. We arrived at the point that we fall in love with each
other and can’t hide the feelings anymore. We still act as best
friends even though we now became lovers but I would admit that some
things changed. Things became better. I never thought that this can
be possible. I thought that it would be awkward or something but it
wasn’t. I love how our story went. It might sound cliché but our
story was like in the movies – best friends turned to lovers. I
must have been so lucky to experience it in real life. Months ago, I
prayed to God to meet love the old fashion way; not in some kind of a
bar or a drinking session. HE answered my prayer after a couple of
months and gave me the best HE can ever give.
We easily adjusted.
What’s the best thing about it is that we have known our flaws
already. Even our deepest secrets that only ourselves know were
already laid in each other’s plates. There might be some small
details that we have left out but the important thing is we were so
transparent with each other. We continually see to it that we tell
the truth to one another each and every time. It’s nice to know
that I can always tell anything to him. I know my long stories bore
him a lot but he still listens. I know I talk non-sense at times but
he still cares. I know that he lose his patience with me at times but
he never leaves. I am afraid that one day he’ll be feed up with me
and leave me. But that’s part of the risk that I am taking.
And, that’s what my every day goal is revolving – not to give him
reasons to go away but to always give him reasons to stay. I know
myself. I can be so “makulit” most of the time and
somewhat selfish; I am demanding when it comes to time and attention;
I am needy; I am clingy; I act childish most of the time; I don’t
listen when I want to; I am easily jealous; I make a big deal out of
small things; I’m crazy at times; There are instances that it is
very difficult to understand me; I throw tantrums when I feel like; I
nag; I am impatient; I bully; I am ill-tempered and would start to
talk in English; I over think things; I worry about things that were
not happening yet; I am paranoid; I am very observant and would
mistook small gestures into something; I am very sensitive and
insensitive at the same time!; and I tend to make expectations; But
despite all of this, I am also very loving; I can sacrifice all for
my beloved; I usually give gifts; I tend to exert more love than my
partner’s; I like to make surprises; I love making or coming up
with some simple things to make my partner smile; I tend to be so
sacrificial; I see to it to spend time with him; I am vocal with any
of my feelings and I tend to always tell him that (I don’t know if
it’s kind’a annoying at times); I give him priority; I encourage
and motivate him; I give support in everything that he likes doing
and would like to do; I do things to show that I am proud of him; I
would exert effort to know his family and friends; And I can be
better for him just to make him stay. I just hope and pray that we
could work things together and stick with each other forever. FOREVER
might sound crazy but…really…I’m serious about keeping him
forever. I love him that much! I just hope that he’ll do the same
with me and that he will not gives me up no matter what. All I
can do now is trust in GOD for whatever plan HE has for us. ^_^
